"I see it. I like it. I want it. I got it," Ariana Grande preached. That has been my life motto, a motto that I've always lived by ever since I became independent and self-sufficient. Once I want something, I try to acquire it as soon as I can. I've always justified it as a way to reward myself for all my hard work. But the recent worldwide pandemic and the sudden life change I had to undergo turned that perspective around. And it was a happy change. Really. But I needed about two months to realize that. Upon the outbreak of the pandemic in the metro, I had to go back home to the quaint and quiet town I grew up in where life was less hurried and simpler. The monotony almost killed me in the beginning, having been acquainted to a faster pace of life. Everything that I was used to after living in the city for eight long years were suddenly taken away from me. There were no more food deliveries for any craving (donut, ramen, sushi, you name it!) at any time. There was suddenly no good cafe-bought coffee to wake me up and get me pumped for the day. And there were no more dinner out with friends in nice restaurants to alleviate the stress of daily work! The stripping away in a snap of everything that I was ever used to proved to be the most frustrating thing to ever happen to me this year. But it also turned out to be the best! Positive psychology experts have researched on the brain for many years and they have found that it was actually designed to get used to things. We are prone to getting used to what we have. When life gives us problems, our minds develop the capacity to get used to it. This is why we are more resilient than we think. In the same way, when life gives us the good things, we tend to get used to it as well. Owning a nice car or the latest iPhone would give us a jolt of joy in the first few months of acquiring it but after a while, we get used to it. It becomes a daily part of life... that we take for granted. When life gives us the good things, we tend to get used to it as well. And such is what happened to me. I have taken for granted the comforts that the city has given me since I have had it for eight years already. I wake up everyday knowing that I can have coffee and doughnut delivered on my doorstep any time of the day. It became just a normal part of everyday life, rather than a luxury that I should be grateful for.
But the sudden deprivation made me realize how much pleasure and joy these life comforts and my social connection give me. It is true - we only ever appreciate things or people when they're gone or out of reach. This has been an old adage which still proved to be true no matter what era or pandemic we encounter. This is the big lesson for me this season: I may naturally be inclined to get what I want or what gives me joy as fast as I can. But I should also learn to restrain myself or give myself some time in between, to deprive myself of joys rather than continuously give in to my whims. Because it is in deprivation that I stop my brain or my self from getting used to things and then eventually taking them for granted. It is in moderation that I can appreciate things more and derive more satisfaction from life's gifts - big or small. So when I get back to the new normal - I'll try to be a bit more mindful and grateful for all forms of blessings in life. After all, I could tell my grandchildren that I survived a pandemic and quarantine just like Isaac Newton and William Shakespeare. This is my second life.
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March 2021
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