Sometimes, I'm afraid to make my own decisions, because I know that when I fail, I have no one else to blame but myself. But I think that's okay. I have been living on my own for years now. I wake up on a bed that I make myself, prepare breakfast that I cook for myself, and drive to work on a career that I've built myself. I have been self-sustaining for years and it was because I practiced the one thing I was scared of before - listening to myself, deciding on my own and owning up to my choices. Growing up, I always have my parents to lean on to and to run to when things get hard. My formative teenage years were spent in the comfort of my family home. It was fun, warm and safe. But I knew I needed to make a change. I knew that if I wanted to make bigger strides in life, I have to be bolder. I have to take risks. That's exactly what I did. I started living alone when I was seventeen. I still get in touch with my parents constantly for good advice and just for constant communication. In the beginning, I would always rely on them for major life decisions, even if I already moved out. But as time went by, it became clearer to me that I was starting to get to know myself better. Living alone made me gain my own identity. And as the only person who has seen how I've changed and grown the last few years of being independent, I realized that there was no one else who knew myself better than me. I was the only one who truly knew my strengths and weaknesses. I was the only one who knew my full potential. So there is no one else out there who would know what's best for me than me. Was it a selfish, boastful thought? It was what I tried to assess. But I realized that it wasn't. It was just, well, reality. I have lived far from my parents for years now. I have friends who were with me most of the week but were never really with me twenty-four hours in a day. So there really is no one else who knows me better in this world than myself. This confidence that I gained after this realization was what gave me the courage to make riskier decisions. It was when I started really listening to myself and what I really want. So there is no one else out there who would know what's best for me than me. Was it a selfish, boastful thought? It was what I tried to assess. But I realized that it wasn't. It was just, well, reality. First major decision that I did was shifting courses. I knew had even more potential to unleash so I shifted to a harder course with a Master's degree track after five years. It was a faster track to gain both a bachelor's and a master's degree, but I believed I could do it. I asked for my parents' advice. As expected, they were a bit wary about it. However, I knew myself and my limits. The new course wasn't so far off from what I was already taking. It was only a matter of getting more units and longer years of study because it had an additional thesis for a Master's degree in the end. So I did just that, signed the necessary documents, filed a scholarship for an additional degree and shifted by end of school year!
In the midst of this new course, I was employed for an internship in an international tech company under the HR department. My father, in particular, was very proud of me. He wanted me to follow in his footsteps: work in an international firm with a high-paying position. But I gave it up for another internship at a local firm that opened up my world to Marketing, the track that I really wanted to pursue. It was more creative, more fast-paced and more people-centric. I worked with brands that push big marketing campaigns to highlight real human needs. This was exactly what I wanted. The internship was unpaid and at a local firm so my parents originally didn't agree. But I used my savings to sustain myself during the months that I interned in this local firm. And this experience was what opened new doors for me to join even bigger consumer companies in the future. And right when I graduated, I was instantly offered prestigious Management Trainee positions in two of the biggest international consumer companies in the world - one at a beauty company and another at a consumer healthcare company. The former was the easier choice which my parents wanted me to take, as the office would be walking distance from my current apartment. I won't have to drive far. The latter option was in a different city which would entail me moving to a new apartment to save up on gas. Of course, my parents were pushing me to choose the beauty company, the easier option. But when I assessed myself, I really wanted to market brands that impact real needs of people. Working for brands that impact health and wellness is what would motivate me more than working for cosmetics. So I did just that, I packed my bags and moved apartments, all the while financing myself through the entire process. Across these big life decisions, there was one thing in common. I still seek for my parents' advice, despite not following them. I take it as a sign of respect to discuss things with them before arriving at my final decision. But at the same time, I own up to my decisions. I finance myself through making those decisions and I see them through. I guess I've been good at making big decisions the last few years because I truly listened to myself, to what I want and what I need. Yes, your parents and friends could give the best advices. But at the end of the day, I really am the only person who knows me best. I am the best person to give advice to myself. I hope you find it in your heart to trust yourself and listen to yourself, too.
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March 2021
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