Now that you're healed and ready to love again, how should you open yourself up to love? There comes a point in life when you decide that you are okay again, when you think that you have enough love for yourself and when you feel that you are ready to share your life with another person once more. This is when you realize that you are finally healed from the scars, bruises and beatings that love gave you not so long ago. It's a remarkable feeling. It makes you realize that you are finally free from the pains of the past and are ready to explore and open yourself up once again. It is a happy day. But on the flip side, it also is a scary one. It is scary because you are finally entering the dating world again and making yourself vulnerable once more. You are exposing yourself to the possibility of getting hurt and creating expectations that won't come to fruition. However, that's the beauty of life and love. Human beings are able and willing to risk getting hurt to feel something far greater, rather than settling for not being able to experience love at all. But as soon as you realize that you are ready to open up and ready to risk it again, you will soon understand that the dating world is a big jungle. There are people you'll meet that will only stay for short-term fun. There are people who will communicate well and keep your hopes up only to disappoint you in the end. And still, there are people who will only use you to get something that they need. It isn't easy. And it won't ever be easy. Wanting to find love right after you realized that you've healed is, in itself, a long process because Mr. Right isn't just waiting outside your door for you to wake up ready one day. He's usually hidden somewhere hard to find. He's also probably looking for you but he just can't find you yet. So how do we protect ourselves from getting hurt again after we've just healed? How do we find the right person without neglecting the lessons we've learned from the past? Our mind would tell us to just go back, hide in our shells and protect ourselves from any sort of pain. But love is too beautiful to not be found again. This is why we have to learn the value of waiting, savoring and not expecting too much. Entering the dating world right after healing is a tough task. There are only a lucky few who would successfully find new love in a snap of a finger. For most of us, we would need to date a lot more people to identify who we really want to be with and share our lives with. And the key is to not rush and simply wait. Impatience breeds hasty decisions. But when something is well-thought of, it is not rushed. If we wait before we make final conclusions, we have a longer period to get to know people. The longer the period of dating, the more deeper the conversations will get and the more we will get to know the person. With this, we can make an even more informed decision whether someone is worth risking our hearts again and whether someone is aligned with the life we want to live in the future. More than waiting, we should also now how to savor. The art of savoring means appreciating the "now" by being more aware of the positive aspects of the present. Dating after being healed is a new season in our lives. It is a celebration and a new initiation. Therefore, it should be savored, not rushed. We should take our time being aware of the good sides of the people we meet (without discrediting red flags, of course) while also not rushing ourselves to get into a half-baked relationship again. Savoring the dating season makes you more aware of what you want and not want in a partner which, ultimately, helps you when you decide later on. Human beings are able and willing to risk getting hurt to feel something far greater, rather than settling for not being able to experience love at all. Lastly, dating is a time to be open to a lot of possibilities. Sometimes, we tend to attach ourselves so easily to the first person that catches our eye, without first assessing whether we really fell in love with a real person and not just someone we created in our heads. We put so much expectations on the shoulders of one person, that we end up scaring them away. Dating is meant to show us that there are a lot of doors to be opened and a lot of options to try. We should be open to expecting that most people won't be right for us, because we are not for a lot of people. It is not to say that we should lower our expectations. But what it really means is we shouldn't idolize and create too idealistic scenarios in our heads about people we've just met.
Again, the act of finally realizing that you are healed is a remarkable step. It signifies you being ready to open yourself up again. But it shouldn't be a leeway for you to neglect yourself or put down your walls. This is a season for you to be a little more patient and appreciative while being a little less idealistic, enough to open yourself up to someone new.
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March 2021
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